Lonely in Binghamton

As many of you know, I'vte been teaching a summer course in Binghamton since the start of the month. And while my students have taught me quite a bit about television history (this is a common experience for teachers, who often learn more about the subject they teach than do the students), the most significant thing I've learned all summer is quite unrelated: I'm not cut out to be a bachelor. To be honest, there aren't very many specific reasons why I absolutely need Michelle around. I can cook, clean, amuse myself, whatever else I need. But the sum of those activities does not seem to complete my day or week at all. It's as if an ever-increasing lack of meaning haunts my actions without Michelle. It's an indefinite but very real lack, more real than any of the necessities I describe above. Of course, we deemed this trip necessary, and I am getting a lot of work done, but without her around the question becomes: why? Why put all this effort in at all? Or, more concisely: I apparently need to see my "why" rather than just know that it's there. This is probably a sign of mental weakness, but I'll admit to it nonetheless.

Stewart